Cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out, I just didn't know what to do...

Is happiness too much to ask for? Really, is it???

Dear Boyfriend,

Thanks for telling me, after I spent my first Thanksgiving ever away from my family (also since my parents are moving, I missed the last thanksgiving in RI as a family) that you are not sure why you are with me. Those words actually pierced my heart like a knife and made me lose my breath. How am I supposed to stay with you and trust you with my heart now?

Love,
Lys

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance....

Sometimes I don't think I will ever get over my marriage to M.
Not in a "still pining for him" way but in a "the worst 8 years of my life" way. I hate that I have to see him. I feel like a victim. Everytime I see him I feel weak and stupid and like a victim. Like a fool.
I think I need therapy. Really.
Last Sunday, I started to feel pretty lousy. Killer cough, headache, losing my voice, body aches - the worst I have felt ever.. Then Monday morning, I woke up with a fever of 102. So I called my boss, because with all this swine flu, I figured I should get checked out. And she was pissed. She called me unreliable! Now I have missed work, a few days here and there, due to sick kids. Which I cannot help. Who else stays home with sick kids but their mom??? Really? But she called me unreliable, blah blah - even after I told her my symptoms. So I went to the DR, thinking for sure I am going to lose my job, because my boss said she had to "talk to me" when I came back to work about my attendance. :o( The DR tested me and said "swine flu" and put me on Tamiflu. Then Mary started feeling sick, the Dustin.... so I took them both to the Dr and swine flu for them too, plus Mary has strep and D, has double ear infections. Crap. SO I call my boss and she tells me to take the week out... and is suddenly all nice. But I go back tomorrow and we will see what happens then :o(

The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't.

I am sick of people. My family, some of my friends - some of the people I have surrounded myself with just suck!
Mary has been acting out a bit since I started teaching at her school. To be expected. I was talking to my mom about it and she basically gave me this whole talk how it used to be just Mary and I and now she has to share me with D and J and the school. I get that. But should I just let her throw tantrums because things have changed? When she is 40 and her boss changes something, should she throw a fit? Hmm mom? I got off the phone with my mom and just felt like her opinion was I should've just stayed single, um FOREVER.

*sniff* This song makes me think of my babies...

MIRACLE

Lyrics: Linda Thompson
Music: Stephen Dorff

You're my life's one miracle
Everything I've done that's good
And you break my heart with tenderness
And I confess it's true
I never knew a love like this 'til you

You're the reason I was born
Now I finally know for sure
And I'm overwhelmed with happiness
So blessed to hold you close
The one that I love most
Though the future has so much for you in store
Who could ever love you more

The nearest thing to heaven
You're my angel from above
Only God creates such perfect love

When you smile AT me I cry
And to save your life I'd die
With a romance that is pure in heart
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires
I live for your desires
Forget my own, your needs will come before
Who could ever love you more

There is nothing you could ever do
To make me stop loving you
And every breath I take
Is always for your sake
You sleep inside my dreams
And know for sure
Who could ever love you more

Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.

If you are constantly fighting over the past, how can you ever have a future??